Girl on the Third Floor

A man tries to renovate a rundown mansion that doesn’t appreciate his presence.
Kinky
Slapstick Gore

 

United States
2019
Feature Film
Realism: 
Supernatural
Character Focus: 
Ghost Film
Toys: 
Marble
7.04
Tar and KY!
6
6
7.04
7.04
3
3
3
Effects
Plot
Ambiance
This is the story of a man against his house. When mixed martial artist C.M. Punk isn’t punching people in the face, he plays a man who tears walls down and finds weird stuff behind them. All the while, he keeps injuring himself, and it’s not all bad luck. Is the house alive? Probably... Don Koch, the protagonist, is the only person, in fact, who doesn’t know what’s happening.
He’s the only character that matters, and he’s not all that relatable. Everyone else is disposable. He’s a despicable person surrounded by despicable people. The house is a character, and its pipes are filled with tar and KY, for some reason. It’s hard to keep a straight face through Koch’s misfortune. This isn’t a comedy, but it has a clever, twisted sense of humor.
We’re not used to resilient American alpha male characters resisting the influence of haunted houses, so Punk’s character is refreshing. When this house manifests itself, though, it can be quite... physical. I’m not sure I bought every subplot, turn, and twist this movie fed me, but it never lost my interest. In spite of its flaws, I was grossed out, I shivered, and I was terribly amused!
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